


Of Zell and Tofu Dogs

by kenkai_san



Series: Final Fantasy VIII Series [2]
Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-02
Updated: 2011-07-02
Packaged: 2017-10-20 23:20:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/218185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kenkai_san/pseuds/kenkai_san
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after the end of the game. Garden's cafeteria decides to 'go healthy' and Zell is not thrilled.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Zell and Tofu Dogs

With the wrath of a thousand angry, revenge-driven armies, Zell marched up to the front of the line in the cafeteria. Most people went to protest, but the rage in his eyes and his clenched fists silenced any possible protests.

The cafeteria lady eyed him warily as he slammed his hands on the counter. “Something the matter?” she asked.

In two simple words, Zell summed up the reason behind his anger and likely what everyone else thought when they saw the day’s menu. “ _Tofu dogs?_ ”

“In an effort to provide healthier meals for the Garden residents, we’ve decided to serve tofu dogs twice a week in lieu of the popular hot dogs,” the lady recited.

Zell spluttered out something incoherent. He tightened his grip on the counter’s edge and counted backwards from ten before speaking again. “This is an outrage! We’ve got the best hot dogs in the world, and you’re gonna hold out on us because of what some stupid official thinks?”

When the lady merely shrugged, Zell growled audibly and spun around. From across the way, he spotted Squall sitting down next to Rinoa. Either not thinking clearly, or just deciding to go to him since he was the nearest authority figure, Zell stomped over to Squall.

“What the hell is up with this healthier meal plan?” Zell demanded, slamming down angrily into a chair. “I mean, I don’t care if they serve 99.9% fruits and vegetables, but why did it have to be the _hot dogs_ who suffer?”

Squall groaned quietly as he rubbed a hand over his face. “Zell, it wasn’t my idea. I don’t control the cafeteria menu. The headmaster and the food service officials thought it would be a good idea, and I really had no room to say otherwise.”

“Damn it, this is ridiculous! What happened to the students and SeeDs getting a say in this? We’re the ones who have to eat it!”

Rinoa lowered her head, and looked away. “Um, Zell, I don’t think you _ever_ had a say in it. No offense, but Garden isn’t exactly a democracy…”

“We’ll see about that.” Zell rose to his feet, and raised his voice. “I’m boycotting this shit! Who’s with me?”

As intended, the entire cafeteria heard him. The patrons fell silent, exchanging blank stares before quietly ignoring him.

Zell hung his head. “What an apathetic crowd.”

“If they served it every day, you might have support,” Quistis said as she walked over to them. “Zell, just try one. You might like it.”

Zell frowned in disbelief. “Are you _trying_ to rub salt in the wound?”

Quistis sighed. “I tried,” she said as she sat down next to Rinoa.

Zell grumbled something under his breath, but no one caught it. When he received no further words of sympathy or exasperation from his friends, he went to go stand in line, resigned to his fate.

“Well,” Rinoa shrugged, “he likes pizza, too, and they have that.”

Quistis winced. “Well, yes, but…the hot dogs weren’t the only things that were affected by the ‘healthier meal option’ plan.”

“Oh no, don’t tell me - it’s _veggie_ pizza?” Rinoa asked.

Quistis nodded, and the three of them shared a collective groan.


End file.
